Happy Wednesday

A short sweet note to wish all and sundry a happy Wednesday and to apolise for my unedited rantings in the early hours of this morning.

Also, a very happy birthday to my Dad who almost had me convinced he was God, and really does know everything. Unfortunately you have to wait until the weekend for your presents. Love and well wishes.

Briefly yours
Jessie MC
Black Is Not A Colour

The MEn With A Job and the Curious Case of Ms B.

I complained about my lack of sleep last night because the mEn with A job concerning a pole, some cable, the roof of my house and some heavy duty power tools decided not to do said job until midnight. Yet tonight, well on my way towards tomorrow morning, I sit here dutifully writing on my blog. A friend of mine said she felt like blog was a dirty word. So cliche and sounds so similar to that four letter word that doesn't have an 'L' in it. But here I am.

There are often so many thoughts in ones mind that when asked, "What are you thinking about?" you don't really know what you are thinking about, if anything. Maybe you just don't know how to respond. I wonder if the answer really is that you aren't thinking about anything important? Sometimes all those thoughts get a bit too tangled and your brain decides that sleep is not so important anymore. I wish my brain thought otherwise, because I have to get up at 6:45am to get ready to go to work again. Work, Oh how I loathe thee.

Speaking of difficult questions though, Ms. B - a woman in possession of the most peculiar and inappropriate laugh I've ever encountered - asked me recently where I see myself in 5 years time? Or more specifically, what would I like to be doing in 5 years time? What once seemed like such an easy question to answer, now puzzles me. What has changed since those naive days of high school, when we all had our futures mapped out and everything looked so rosy? What happened to the girl who told me that she wanted to be married by the time she was 21, although she had never had a boyfriend. What about the boy who started a locksmiths apprenticeship and proposed to his High School sweet heart by the time the rest of us graduated? And what about the one who wanted to be the Queen of her Domain, with multiple degrees, an exciting career, a healthy bank balance, and the dream home with a husband and kids to ice the cake?

I've been told that constant change, impatience and an unwillingness to settle for anything less than the best, are qualities that define my generation. I think we all need to be a bit more patient, and definitely in relationships we need to learn to appreciate that they take time and effort and will never be perfect (because we are never perfect). But in our life's ambitions, why should we ever settle for something less that what we set out to achieve? As we grow and learn more about the world around us, we should allow those ambitions and dreams to grow and evolve with us. The kid who thought he wanted to be a police officer and then grows up and becomes just that, may well decide that it's not what he thought it would be. That his dream is really something vastly different.

Why is it so important to own an ordinary house in the suburbs, with a mortgage that prevents us from really living until we are retired? That's not to say I don't ever want to be a home owner. But why, if I want something less ordinary, should I settle for the sake of settling, just because that is what everyone else does?

More than anything else, I want to see the world. I want to see other cultures and people and learn about the way the rest of the world functions. I want to see, in the flesh, some of those great historical monuments and artworks I spent so much time looking at in a book. I want to be inspired and enlightened. This planet is adorned with so much beauty that no camera can possibly do justice to it, and I want to see it for myself. Or at least some small part of it.

I have a lot of respect for my parents and my upbringing, but if I ever decide to breed I want to be able to tell them stories of adventures and castles that I really experienced myself. I want to impart them with some knowledge of the greater world around them. To give them a sense of adventure and to inspire them to see what the world has to offer them, and to want to look after it too.

If that means I won't own a home for a while so be it. If I want to have a home that has a nice view, or doesn't look like something out of a Leggo Land catalogue, then I may have to wait a little longer, but I will still strive towards it. Nobody should ever have to settle for second best.

Pursue your dreams, however lofty. You may just end up ruling the world. At the very least it will give you something to look forward to.

Jessie MC
Black Is Not A Colour
(But if your ambition is to make it one then you have my blessings)

Famous, Infamous, Soul-less and Sew-less..

Silly people who use their anonymous blog account to reply to a pseudonym's blog don't remain anonymous for long. Bah! Who needs to be anonymous anyway. A wise person once pointed out that nobody on the interwebs is really real anyways. Our blogs are a carefully constructed pastiche of our real selves, parading around like we are deep, insightful and have something valuable to share with the world wide web. If you, like me, consider my ramblings insightful, meaningful, and of value, or you are just a bit bored, then please continue reading. I'll try to make it interesting.

I made a guest star appearance in one of my favourite blogs recently. I was once told by one of those 'beautiful and she knows it' types that you are nobody until you're talked about. I am somebody now. For good or for bad I am not convinced but give me a few more cups of coffee, make me listen to a few more lousy customer service reps trying to communicate with labotomised customers and I could yet turn my fame and success into world domination.

If only my new found fame was accompanied by fortune. And by that I don't mean good luck, I mean cold hard cash. I'm not ashamed to admit I heart capitalism, I heart material things, I heart beautiful things and I am not really satisfied by minimalism (which I hear is going out of fashion and is due to return in 10 years time when the economy is booming again and people have money to spend on large portions of nothing much at all). If I had more money then perhaps I could replace the dearly departed with something new and shiny....

My hard working comrade died a slow death today. No it wasn't a person (they can't always be replaced by shiny things). My 30 something year old faithful sewing machine that has aided me in my endeavors to revolutionise the meaning of the word 'craft' sewed its last peice of material today. Actually it didn't sew it at all, wherein lies the problem. Perhaps it had something to do with me feeding paper and cardboard through it, or forcing it to use that thick heavy denim cotton. Or perhaps it was the plastic shower curtain I used it to hem. It may well be fixable but I can no longer justify spending just as much on repairs as I would a brand new sewing machine. Maybe my sewing-challenged mother will offer up hers until I find a replacement. Maybe I should tell her I have a blog so she gets the hint.

To those I promised lovely hand-made (by hand made I mean I made them with my sewing machine) gifts for the holiday season, you could be waiting a while. On the bright side, I am forced to find other ways to express myself and continue to create those cheap but invaluable masterpeices I palm off as presents. Perhaps the easel will make a comeback before the year is out. Time to moisten the brushes and dust off the palette.

R.I.P Mr Empisal Fee Arm Deluxe. Your cream and silver exterior and Harlow Italic font will be sorely missed.

Sincerely Sad,

Jessie MC
Black Is Not A Colour

Follow the White Rabbit...

I took a detour and found myself amongst the wealthy with the good views. I could see into a window and found myself wondering what it takes to be wealthy enough to live there. I was tempted to door knock and ask. I wondered if it was worth it, if they were happy. Who wouldn't be happy with a view like that I wonder...

I almost got lost in wealthy good views territory but the White Rabbit showed me the way back to reality and I ended up at one of my favourite stores. Lettraset is extinct they told me, so I purchased the new improved version and am looking forward to see if it works as well. I scampered home in the hopes that nobody saw me out and about today. I hope the White Rabbit didn't lead me astray.

I made a tree from a branch today and decorated it with the least religious items I could summon.. although I'm sure my Mum will find something religious about a random star, a bell and a vintage angel and consider my soul saved. I debated with myself about why I needed a tree, and then tried to rationalise it to myself. It still doesn't make sense that an atheist has a decorated 'tree' up for the holiday season (albeit a bit early) but I guess some traditions are hard to conquer. My rationale is simply that I am not a heartless scrooge. Of all the things I enjoy the most about the holiday season its that I get to spend time with friends and family, and I get to shop for them (and sometimes for me too). There is nothing religious or spiritual in that and I don't really see the need to ditch the opportunity to give, recieve, love, be loved, eat, drink and be merry, just because I don't give a stuff if some dude was born on the 25th December several hundreds of years ago. Many a dude and dudette have been born on the 25th of December since then too. I don't really give a stuff about them either. Nor do I give much of a stuff about the Queen, but we have a day off for her birthday too. That and I like getting stuff on a day other than my birthday, and that wouldn't happen if I didn't partake in celebrations.

I like chocolate too and for that reason I will also be participating in Easter / Solstice celebrations for many years to come. There is no harm in celebrating fertility after all.

I watched the rain today from the shelter of the patio. I love nothing as much as that beautiful clean air smell, the luscious green the grass turns when wet, and the sound of rain on the tin roof. I only miss the view we used to have at Mum and Dad's place before they were surrounded by houses. Green paddocks spotted by a few horses in their rain coats and the wild ducks out for a shower. For a while I've been wondering if I want to have a small plot of land in town with all its conveniences, shops, restaraunts, cafes, art galleries, take-aways and supermarkets that are open late every night of the week. Or do I want a bigger plot of land outside of town with a nice view and room for a few ducks or fainting goats. It's not as convenient but when it rains I think I'd prefer it.

I decided today I need to live life in a more meaningful way. If I'm depressed about going to work every day and feeling as if I exist without any real purpose then I need to find meaning and purpose. I'm not sure what it is yet but I'm almost positive it isn't working in an office everyday for the rest of my life, no matter how easy the money. I like to be creative and bring beauty to the world. Apart from a self-sustained artist or designer I don't yet know what that will entail. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know.

For now I will leave you with your thoughts while I go and rustle up some grub.


Jessie MC
Black Is Not A Colour

Virgin Blog

This is the umpteenth time I have written this first sentence. I do the same thing when I write essays for uni.. I write, erase, and re-write over and over again worrying that it doesn't sound smart enough, wondering if I've addressed the issue properly and stressing out about what the lecturer thinks of my work. It shouldn't be about that. Uni should be a learning experience not a 'fast track to a stomach ulcer' as one witty friend put it.

I started this blog as an outlet for all the things racing around in my brain so the last thing I need to be doing is stressing out about what the world thinks of my ramblings. There are enough bloggers out there striving to be the most witty, intelligent and edgy, like their blog will earn them a book deal or the equivalent 15 minutes of fame.

With that in mind I selected an image from my archives that I felt to be the most appropriate thing to start off this blog (and is guaranteed to always make me smile). This is Wilbur. The dog not the leg. He is loyal, cuddly, naughty and in desperate need of a hair cut, but ultimately one of the best things I ever purchased. Is it so bad that I love my dog more than I like most people?

He is one of the reasons I get up in the morning.. mostly because he is standing on my chest licking my face and demanding to be taken outside for his early morning toilette.

He is one of the reasons I drag myself off to work everyday.. to pay for the premium dog food, treats, flea treatments, toys, worming tablets, vaccination shots and more treats.

He inspires me to be creative and that's what I want this blog to be about.. It's also entirely possible that Wilbur will appear in this blog frequently so it makes sense to introduce him here. I'm not sure where this blog will take me, but I'm keen enough to come back tomorrow and have another crack at it.

Until then, use ample punctuation and borrow a dictionary if need be.

Honestly,

Black is not a colour.